Tag Archives: #mentalhealthandwellbeing


“Way to be!”

“Way to be!”

How do we teach RESPONSIBILITY?

As teachers, we often complain about students who do not take responsibility for their learning. It seems difficult for them to make good choices e.g. as to where they sit and they have a bad habit of side conversations. We worry about these students and their progress.

As teachers, we work very hard to make lessons compelling and spend time scaffolding and planning. And sometimes it seems we work harder than our students! We sometimes say to ourselves at points of frustration, “Well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

What if there was a way to teach responsibility?

Responsibility at Home
On parent teacher nights, I quickly learned that students who do not take ownership for their learning at school, in most cases, do not have responsibilities at home. Click here for a blueprint on the steps I use with parents and students to learn the important skill of responsibility.


Responsibility in the Classroom
Last week my students experienced an “ah ha” moment. “So, to do well in this unit, we have to do all these things. Then we will have all those things. But none of that can happen unless we come to class being all these things.”

This student was saying that the middle list (see photo,) called the “Do” list, is the success criteria. As teachers, most of us develop the success criteria at the beginning of a lesson or unit of work. That enable students to know what they need to do to be successful. I like to boil the success criteria down to a list of verbs.

Students know that if they do those things they will have certain results. We brainstorm those results in the third column.

However, what students don’t realize is how they have to show up in class in order to have success. The way they show up is their way of being and it precedes doing and having. Their way of being will allow students to do what is needed to in order to have the results. A discussion pursues and students become very present to their responsibility for their learning. They also begin to hold each other to account.

(The “Be Do Have” activity is adapted from a conversation at Landmark Worldwide.)

“Way to Be!” is a new program which includes responsibility training. I am launching these student workshops now for the fall. These workshops teach responsibility and other skills required to thrive, such as,
Critical Thinking
Complex Problem Solving
People Management
Emotional Intelligence
Coordinating with Others
Judgment and Decision Making
Cognitive Flexibility

Service Orientation

Embedded P.D. for teachers with a comprehensive handout enables you to continue the learning with your students. Click to check out the programs and program descriptions and book your workshops today.
Call Margaret at 647 881-6958

Email mb@margaretboersma.com

Yours in partnership,

Margaret Boersma

Create a empowering school climate with practical social and emotional skills. Book your “Way to Be!” programs today for the fall. Email: mb@margaretboersma.com or call 647 881-6958 to book.


Connection is Everything – Building a Culture of Connectedness Part 2 of 2

Connection is Everything – Building a Culture of Connectedness Part 2 of 2

In Part 1, we discussed the critical importance of nurturing relationships, both inside and outside a school, to support student growth. We learned about the “Make it Right” formula for restoring relationships that don’t work or don’t work as well as one would like. And we considered the importance of role modeling so students learn how to restore relationships and move forward.
What is the one critical thing we need to do before problem solving with someone? We must lower the emotions before we can start problem solving. Here is a strategy that will do just that.
Through Your Lenses:
Perspective training allows people to understand and reflect back someone’s emotional state so they feel heard and understood. With the exercise “Through Your Lenses,” participants learn how to respond rather than react. When one can genuinely see a situation from another point of view and express that through language, the emotional temperature in the listener drops. Then a space is created for the speaker to state his/her point of view. From there solutions can be created.
For example, when an upset teacher approaches another teacher with a problem they want solved, the listener needs to view the request through the lens of the upset person and reflect back what they hear, their concern and/or their commitment, until they feel understood and calm down. That creates a space for the listener/reflector to communicate their point of view. Only then can problem solving begin.
Just like in a very hot classroom at a point where the teacher and students can’t think anymore because of the heat, when the emotional temperature is too high, people can’t problem solve. When people are emotionally upset the thinking part of the brain, the frontal cortex, is out of commission. This is because the survival part of the brain, the amygdala, is in full gear. Bring the emotional temperature down first, then seek to solve the problem.
Nurture the soil (relationships) at your school. Make the soil rich for raising strong, healthy students so they can reach their potential and soar!
If you are interested in learning simple but radical ways to restore relationships and bring down emotional states, as well as an approach to teach your students essential social and emotional skills, email or call us today. Let’s see if a workshop is right for your staff or for your students.
Transform your school with a couple of simple but powerful social/emotional strategies! Email: mb@margaretboersma.com or call 647 881-6958.




Connection is Everything – Building a Culture of Connectedness Part 1 of 2

Connection is Everything – Building a Culture of Connectedness Part 1 of 2

In the same way that the soil has to be rich and fertile to grow strong, healthy plants, so do the relationships in students’ lives need to be fertile to raise strong, contributing human beings in society.
It is critical to have relationships that work inside and outside of school. Administrators and teachers, caretakers and teachers, caretakers and students, parents and staff are all critical for nurturing young minds and setting examples.
Mirror neurons, in the minds of our students, are noticing all interactions and students are mimicking what they see. Children do not just mimic what they see on the media or on their devices but what they see adults doing and saying. They also mimic our way of being. We are their role models. As adults inside a school, most children see more of us than of their families in the run of a day. So, our role modeling is critical!
Children are also inventing what they don’t see but need to see modeled such as restoring hard feelings. We all have experienced hard feelings inside a relationship. And we need to model for children how we restore those relationships.
I can imagine the moments teachers spend problem solving recess feuds would be a lot less with a few simple but life-changing tools.
“Make it Right Formula”

It is best for these social and emotional skills to be learned in a workshop. For example, in our workshops, with the “Make it Right” formula, participants learn four steps to powerfully restore relationships that are not working as well as they could be. Weather they are caused from a simple misunderstanding, an intentional or unintentional comment, a slight or something more severe such as public humiliation, this formula works.

For students this might involve bullying, humiliating, alienating, fighting, tattling and more. Recently, a grade 3 student learning the “Make it Right Formula” said, “You mean we can be friends again after making a mistake?” This is revolutionary work both for children and adults!
If you are interested in learning simple but radical ways to restore relationships and bring down emotional states, as well as an approach to teach your students essential social and emotional skills, email or call us today. Let’s see if a workshop is right for your staff or for your students.
Transform your school with a couple of simple but powerful social/emotional strategies! Email: mb@margaretboersma.com or call 647 881-6958.



Well-Being: How Do We Grow a Community of Wellness? Part 2 of 3

Well-Being: How Do We Grow a Community of Wellness? Will it Take a Transformation in Education? Part 2 of 3

Educators Discuss Health and Wellness at School

VoicEd Radio is a Canadian based, international radio station dedicated to educators. This particular podcast is “OnEdMentors.” On this podcast, passionate educators connect weekly with teacher candidates, address their questions and explore their perspectives as they prepare to enter the profession. Lots of practical ideas were shared to support teachers with mental wellness. I invite you to listen here.

Structure for Implementing Well-Being

Allow me to indulge you in a vision. Why not have leaders in social and emotional learning leverage school-wide cultural change. Each community could have an educational consultant with an expertise in social and emotional skills, based in the school. That person could also work inside the community creating a movement for community-wide cultural wellness. The school would be the hub of the community with experts offering training. The training would be for students and for adults at the school and in the community i.e. leaders of businesses, organizations and parents.

Before long, people listen to each other and communicate their listening to the speaker; no more emotional reactions; only generated responses. Imagine people having the tools to lower the stress thermometer when others come to them upset. And once the stress is lowered, only then can problem solving really begin. Wellness everywhere!

A Culture of Well-being Right Now

Create a climate of acceptance, compassion and problem solving. Build healthy
relationships inside the school, teachers with students, teachers with teachers,
administrators with teachers, caretakers with students. At the Canadian Association of Principals (CAP) conference in Saskatoon, the metaphor was healthy relationships
create the fertile ground needed to grow healthy students. Do this and your students
can soar. Your staff will feel energized while they work together as a powerful team to
achieve your collective goals!

Creating healthy working relationships requires skill in social and emotional realms. If
you would like a workshop in specific strategies you can implement right away with staff and with your students, have a look at Part 1 “Trust and Perspective” of a workshop series called, “SmArts of Well-Being.” You can find the workshop description under Cross-Curricular Workshops at www.margaretboersma.com Also, download a story that transforms with strategies to internalize the learning. That is found on the home page at www.margaretboersma.com

I welcome your comments and thoughts. If you are interested in forming a team to
forward the ideas in this blog, let’s talk. You can email me at


Well-Being in Our Relationships Part 1 of 3

Well-Being in Our Relationships Part 1 of 3

One of my grade 3 students said recently, “You mean we can be friends again after we make a mistake?” She was sorry for bullying another child on the playground. She longed to be friends again and thought that would never be possible.

How many of us do that? We make a mistake in our communication and feel like it can never be restored.

At school, administrators and teachers experience on-going stress and overload as we strive to meet the needs of every student. At report card time, we can walk into a staff room and physically sense the tension. It seems that most administrators and teachers experience stress from the end of August to the end of June.

Chronic stress inhibits change. Yet, we must change with our students, with the
digital age, with meeting educational expectations. Sometimes it feels like two plates on a fault line pushing up against one another, the pressure is so intense for so long. Then suddenly everything changes. What or who can we count on when the circumstances seem dire?

Imagine a staff with well-developed social and emotional skills. Did you know…
We can lower the stress thermometer? We must arm teachers with tools that
lower stress and make teaching fun again.

Social and emotional learning skills must address the educator first. Teacher wellness is the key to student success.

Imagine if our relationships worked. Not just amicably but relationships that are uplifting and genuinely caring and supportive.

What if there is a way to disappear hard feelings? To be totally understood by another? Coming from a neutral and open place where one is free to listen and understand? Where one could respond and not react?

These are social and emotional skills that can be taught. Imagine if we all learned these core skills? What would the workplace be like? What would our classrooms be like?

Maybe our students would build each other up, rather than put each other down.
Maybe they wouldn’t abuse drugs and alcohol. Perhaps they would be able to look at
another point of view and really “get” the other person. How amazing would that be?
On the side of the recipient, what would it be like to be totally understood by someone, even though they might not agree with you?

And maybe both students and adults would learn how to make things right because we know, life doesn’t work without trust. What if we could regain trust with another person using a simple strategy? That would be liberating!

My grade 3 students wrote a song with their music teacher during our unit together. I
think it would make a powerful school song. I am thrilled that it was shared at our Quest Conference. Listen to the song here.

It is critical that students understand we are all capable of making mistakes and
that “failure” is a wonderful teacher. And we can all recover from our
failures/mistakes by making it right. People are always changing and their
behavior is not who they are…we must make that distinction for our students.

Let’s equip our teachers in how to address interpersonal issues. Problem solving can
only occur in a clearing. Did you know you can eliminate the emotional reaction?

Then teach these practical skills to students. Everyone feels empowered and validated. A school-wide sense of connectedness provides a culture ripe for learning. The world would be a better place with these lessons learned.

Transform your school with a couple of simple but powerful social/emotional strategies! Email: mb@margaretboersma.com or call 647 881-6958.