Words or the Feeling, What Do You Remember Most?
Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) for Your Students
Do you ever remember how you felt but not exactly what was said?
When my son was in elementary school, I was shocked at what came out of his mouth. We don’t speak like that at home and it was so forceful, with the precise attitude and tone appropriate to the situation. I felt triggered at first. Now I don’t remember what he said but I surely remember how it was delivered and the effect it had on me. Here is a blog post that will support you to empower students who are triggered.
Children learn through role-models, such as parents, peers, TV or digital devices. Their mirror neurons are firing powerfully as they navigate and try out what they are picking up from their environment.
We need to teach appropriate communication including when to say what and how to say it.
For example, one must not use the same tone or choice of words when speaking to a friend at recess as talking to the principal in the office. Or, when relaxing with friends at a party as speaking to a potential employer at a job interview.
Role-modeling is critical for students. Mirror neurons are constantly at work in a child’s brain. That is why children often do what we do but not what we say. Children need to see adults:
problem-solve when there is a dispute
resolve hard-feelings
express compassion
express empathy
collaborate
encourage
work in teams
stay regulated or even-keeled
Children need to see all the characteristics of social and emotional well-being. Then they can copy healthy ways of being themselves.
In conclusion, teachers and parents must be pro-active about teaching children. Give your children opportunities to tell complete stories about their day and express their opinion about current issues. Enter into a role-play to support social and emotional skills needed to solve sibling or playground disputes. This rehearsal, in a state of calm, is essential for an actual situation when children need strong tools to draw on when they may not be in a state of calm.
We must also teach our children that people remember how we make them feel more than what was said.